Re-parenting your Inner Child
Emotional wounds that long since continue to shape your adulthood often times have resulted from originating in your past, this is what we call the "inner child." Reparenting your inner child is a transformative process that will enable you to heal and provide support your inner child needs.
Reparenting your inner child can have profound and lasting impact on your emotional well-being and relationships. This article explains the necessity to address your inner child's needs and explains how past experiences shape the vulnerability in you. Whilst reading this article you may become aware of experiences that you have or are going through that points to your inner child requiring attention.
What is the Inner Child?
The childlike part of you represents your inner child, in adulthood it is part of the psyche that still resides within you. When we refer to the inner child, it is the part of you that formed your experiences growing up in the world and most likely as a vulnerable child. This inner child is the repository of your early year’s memories, emotions and beliefs. This is the part of you that contains innocence, the wonder child as opposed to the inner child. The wonder child is the part of your creative youth, it also includes unmet needs and unresolved trauma.
How the past can influence experiences of your Inner Child
Your inner child is rooted in the impact of your early year’s experiences, especially those that were emotionally charged or traumatic. These experiences can include emotional abuse or a situation where your emotional needs were not met adequately. Such events can leave a lasting imprint on your inner child to the point where these experiences shape your perceptions, impact your self-esteem and confidence and overall behaviour into adulthood.
As an example, if you had experienced an angry, volatile parent as a child, your inner child may carry feelings of deep-rooted fear and create lack of self-esteem and lack of confidence within you and your interactions with others. In addition, you could experience feelings of self-doubt or unlovable into your adult life. The opposite to this scenario could be if you had emotionally healthy parents that provided a happy environment during your childhood that led to your inner child gaining a strong foundation of self-worth and positive self-esteem.
Become aware if your inner child needs reparenting
Anxiety or Fear particularly in situations that remind you of past traumatic experiences.
Emotions that find you reacting strongly to minor issues such as feeling very angry or sad over something quite small
Low Self-Esteem with self-worth and being self-critical or doubtful
Patterns of relating by repeating behaviours that are either self-sabotage or you find yourself repeating patterns by getting into same type of unhealthy relationships, these all often stem from unresolved childhood issues
Trust issues with others or even with yourself due to the subconscious memory of early years experiences
How to reparent the inner child
Reflection
Reparenting your inner child includes identifying your inner wounds and unmet needs of your inner child. Reflection involves on aspects of your early years past experiences, especially times that were emotionally charged or traumatic. Recognising these wounds is an important step to healing.
Patterns of relating and recognising triggers that are re-occurring. If you are aware of times where emotions triggered you these would likely provoke strong reactions that seem out of proportion. These patterns can connect to your inner child's unresolved issues.
Self- acceptance
Accepting your ‘whole’ self includes integrating your shadows and flaws, this is a fundamental aspect of reparenting. Self-acceptance involves empathy towards yourself, this is the foundation of healing your inner child.
Finding relief from self-criticism or negative thinking patterns about yourself, these could have resulted from being gained in your childhood from early years experiences and got instilled in your inner child. Learning to treat yourself with kindness and grace will result in nurturing your inner child that you may not have received in childhood.
Boundaries
Establishing and maintaining healthy boundaries is crucial in reparenting your inner child. Setting boundaries in your relationships for better self-care and respect and not allowing others to mistreat you or be disrespectful.
Seeking supportive people who respect you and support your healing journey. Surrounding yourself with uplifting people who will help nurture your emotional well-being and help enable you to express your inner child in healthy, acceptable ways.
Reparenting your inner child is a rewarding process that can lead to positive, fundamental personal growth and emotional healing.
There is power in reparenting your inner child, to help you create the life you desire, free from limitations of past wounds and full of the joy, and self-compassion you provide to your inner child. Embracing the healing process and observing as your life is transformed by the nurturing love you offer to the child within.
At KGF Counselling, I can help provide you with guidance and support necessary for healing deep-seated wounds. As a trained counsellor, specialising in family dynamics I can assist you in addressing your inner child's needs and help you work through unresolved issues.