Feeling isolated in Family Dynamics

This article explores why you might be feeling isolated and how counselling can help you understand your experience and aim towards better mental wellbeing. 

What is Self-Isolation? 

Feeling isolated is experience that affects emotional well-being and can involve withdrawing from family gatherings or connections within the home with members and even external social interactions. There are times you may even want that familial experience to be able to have that closeness and communication with family and about feeling understood. 

In counselling I would explore the reasons behind your self-isolation so that you can better understand yourself. In therapy we would uncover underlying factors contributing to your self-isolation, so that you feel more equipped to being addressing issues and or reason that you find yourself isolating so that you can take steps towards feeling more connected and fulfilled. 

In families with strong rooted cultural systems, perhaps more so within family systems from the East where the whole way of being is quite integrated with the family structure, the ‘group’ and not so much about ‘individual’ growth, aspirations without taking into account family responsibilities and even behaviours and choices that impact Eastern cultures societies. When you are that embedded within a family system, finding your own way of being can become quite challenging, especially if you are seen to not be fitting in with the mould or ‘the way things are done’ as dictated by culture and traditions. 

So when you begin to feel that internal discrepancy about wanting to live a certain way of want to make life choices that are not traditional or expected by traditional cultural roots that can begin to cause self-isolation. This can weigh very heavily to your mental health and overall wellbeing.  
 
Below are examples of the Nature of Self-Isolation 

·       Physical self-isolation such as distancing yourself from other people in a   physical sense 

·       You might find yourself staying at home more 

·       Avoiding or declining social invitations 

·       Emotional self-isolation is when you withdraw emotionally from family members/friends 

·       Feeling detached, numb, stuck, depressed, sad 

·       Social self-isolation is also avoiding social gatherings, this can lead to loneliness and also sense of disconnection from others 

Below are patterns of behaviours related to self-isolation 

·       Avoiding social events even though you may want to attend 

·       Declining or making excuses to social invitations 

·       Spending long periods of time alone, this could be mostly at home 

·       Feeling uncomfortable, anxious, lack of self-confidence in social gathering which leads to avoidance behaviours 

·       Spending more time on apps or internet to avoid or even as substitute to in-person interactions, this also leads to self-isolation 

The Impact of self-isolation on mental health and well-being 

·       Feelings more and more alone, depressed, sad due to lack of connection. 

·       Heightened levels of stress and anxiety 

·       Lack of self-esteem and self-confidence as a result of feeling disconnected from family members or friends 

·       Difficulty in forming or maintaining meaningful relationships. 

·       Impact on cognitive function and being able to emotionally regulate 

In counselling I would help you to understand the nature of self-isolation and the impact it appears to be having on your mental health. Below are psychological factors that contribute to self-isolation that I would explore ways with you to overcome through counselling. 

Psychological Factors 

Self-isolation can be influenced by psychological factors that include thoughts, emotions and behaviours. We would begin to unravel the complexities of self-imposed isolation and work towards managing healthy connections firstly with yourself and with family and friends.  

Fear 

·       Fear of judgment or rejection from family or friends: Individuals experience anxiety about how they are perceived by other people, leading to withdraw from social interactions to avoid potential criticism or rejection. 

·       Anxiety in social interactions: Social anxiety can make everyday connections seem daunting, causing individuals to retreat from situations that trigger feelings of discomfort or unease.  

Low self-esteem 

·       Negative self-perception with low self-esteem. This means that you may struggle with feelings of unworthiness, which can further confirm the self-isolation action by thinking you are not deserving of social connection or have a sense of belonging within the family structure or amongst other social counterparts 

·       Feeling unworthy of being connected to people. Some can dwell a lot of time and energy on past experiences of rejection or abandonment or anger, disappointment. When this is linked to parents of other family members this can lead believing the sense of unworthiness of reluctance to create meaningful relationships 

Trauma  

·       Traumatic experiences of verbal or physical abuse can in-still a sense of fear or mistrust in people. Trauma on this level can contribute to retreating from social interactions as a means of self-protection. 

·       Coping mechanisms developed from past experiences such as avoidance or isolation becomes a way of managing overwhelming emotions or distressing memories that are associated with past traumatic experiences. This also can keep the memory of the past alive and keep you stuck. 

Behavioural factors 

·       Withdrawal from family gatherings and functions 

Isolating from friends, romantic partners, work events 

·       Spending time in isolation at home or staying in your room more 

·       Lack of communication, that could be telephone calls, emails, texts 

·       Feeling all alone or empty if when you are surrounded by people  

·       Feeling sad or depressed, hopelessness, despair, crying  

·       Anxiety or fear and feeling anxious sensations in your body 

In counselling, such scenarios would be explored and when you gain insight into underlying causes of your self-isolation and begin to develop strategies for addressing them, you become more self-aware and build self-esteem. 

Within family dynamics, the conflict or dysfunction within family systems creates tension and emotional distress and with cultural influences on top this can leave individuals seeking solace in isolation rather than confront challenging interpersonal dynamics. 

Cultural expectations are the basis of the society they are from and these cultural expectations have an influence on individuals' behaviours and beliefs about the importance of social connections. Some people internalise the pressure and absorb the conformities and cultural expectations that do not always agree with or want to incorporate in theow way of being. This then leads to feeling isolated and increases mental downward spiral of anxiety or feeling uncomfortable in social situations. 

Counselling and Self-Isolation 

Counselling is powerful in helping individuals understand and overcome self-isolation. I would help you explore underlying root causes of your withdrawal and develop strategies to re-engage you with your family systems and others.  

·       The counselling environment will be one where you can explore your feelings and behaviours without fear of judgment or criticism 

·       I can help you express your thoughts and emotions and guide you to better understanding of why you might be isolating yourself 

·       Exploring if past or present traumas are influencing your behaviour. I am qualified in trauma trainings, somatic and embodiments practices and can provide techniques to process and heal from these experiences. 

·       Explore coping strategies and help building resilience. In counselling I can teach coping strategies to manage anxiety, fear and other emotions that may lead to self-isolation 

·       Help you with social skill to develop meaningful social interactions, making it easier to engage with others and build relationships 

·       Gain self-confidence and raise self-esteem, in counselling you can work on improving your self-esteem and self-worth, which are crucial for forming and maintaining social connections 

·       I can help you manage negative thought patterns and replace them with more positive, empowering beliefs not only about yourself but your ability to connect with others and have a more healthy family connection 

When we address the psychological and emotional factors contributing to self-isolation in counselling this can help you break the cycle of withdrawal and create more connection and gratitude.